Birthdays …

Surpaaaaaaaaaaarisssssssse !!!!!

An often under-used word in our circles, this is a story of the importance (or the lack of, whichever way you take it) of the word and our (me and my roommates) association with it. Even though I’ve thought time and again of how we should spice up our birthdays, and how predictable they might have become, these are the days when it seems like we have sat in a time machine and travelled 2 years back …

So birthdays have always been a pretty casual affair all throughout my life. Like any other day. Whether people feel the air is lighter, the birds are chirpier, the earth is heavier; I have time and again failed to understand the significance of the day. Most of the times in fact, the day had always been one of reduced enthusiasm: meeting people, accepting handshakes, wishes, often forced, unnecessary money spent on chocolates, and so on. Consequently, I was a big hater of birthday parties, and luckily for me, my parents shared the viewpoint … hence, no gifts or parties or whatsoever ! …

The birthday(s) on August 12, 2005 was the first one to leave an impression and for sure the most remembered one too. Ashwin and Bharath celebrated their 22nd birthday on this day, a time when first priority was anything but a birthday celebration. Rather, the first memory I have of the day is them standing near the door, holding their backpacks, all ready to go to the university in the morning to search for fin-aid. Whether it was a phase shift for them, not celebrating a birthday, I don’t know … but the irony of the situation – the scene has been etched in my mind for such a long time; when birthday’s are supposed to be off-days, days when you enjoy the world, and let everyone know how lucky the world is to have you; am sure these were the last things on the poor minds. In all the subsequent birthdays, I’ve always felt this tinge of bitter-sweet memory haunting me …

The first proper birthday we celebrated was Bong’s : December 20, 2005. I still consider that time as the best vacation of my life, when things could only get better … and we had to make it better within the four walls of our apartments. Since birthdays imply cakes, me and Bharath went on a crusade .. to find a place that sells cakes. After an hour of walking, we realized that, with the right thought, an ice cream can be made as relevant on a birthday as a cake …

And hence began the birthday journey. From giant birthdays like Amru’s first one, where the entire apartment complex had shown up and sprites were emptied on the poor soul’s hair (which was long enough to absorb the entire amount!) … to his second one, where he was put in a pool when the temperature difference between him and the pool could have been useful for an omlette … to my first one, where people realized the true might/weight of samosas and fried stuff … to my second one, when the entire party was thrown into the pool together, not to mention poor Amru, oblivious of how cruel we might get … And tonight is Rohan’s birthday, let him guess what atrocities we have in store for him

There have been a few things more constant in this world than our birthday celebrations … the routine, the budget, the coke cans, the mess, the forced expression of surprise on the birthday boy’s face …

The only thing changing is the feeling of increased certainty that no matter where you are, what you do, there will always be a set of people who’ll call you and wish you from the deepest corner of their hearts … isn’t that what a birthday is all about ? …

gorhe-stalgia

I couldn’t help but write this. Just penning down the legendary Gorhe-quotes over the (two) years. If anyone recollects anything more, please do post them …

First year:

“Look up the database”
When poor ol’ Ashwin tried to put forth his friendly face …

“I have tons of liabilities … can’t spend enough”
When we propose eating a dollar burger …

“Vineeeeethh Goorrhaaee”
The legendary voicemail …

One of those nights:
“Aaj kaun kaun night maar raha hai, …., 12 baje tak … “

When one of the seniors he mailed from India ask him :
“Sorry man … I don’t remember you ! … “

“Mone jaldi TA list dekh na … I want to verify something … “
The day he got his TA …

The day ’someone’ overhead an interesting conversation …
“Good night babies … !”

“Shisth Bong shisth … “
The time when Gorhe was cleaner …

One of his inferences from random data lying around on the back of his brain:
“However, on 30th February 1857 there was an incident which proves otherwise ! … “

Some of the sounds when he hears something gross …
“Eeeuuuu SShhhw Wiisshhh … “
accompanied with the right facial expressions mind you …

Internship:

When I was sick :
“Don’t worry … I’ll take care of the apartment search … “

“Regular khaana banate hai … “

The plans …
“I think I’ll do a PhD re … “

When an Indian place is a tad too expensive for our comfort :
“Abe yaar … khaana is too expensive … I have liabilities you know !! “

“Sala mone … lazy bum … chal ghoomne !! “
Delegating the blame …

The plans :
“The company … “

“Damn no … am not eating this … chal Indian street”

Second year:

“Eh boss … uska naam kya hai yaar ?”
What’s in a name afterall ?? …

The plans :
“I think thesis is the right thing for me .. “

When asked about who threw the spoon in the sink:
“Bong threw the spoon boss … “

And when he realizes that I caught him red-handed …
“Mone accountant sala … you’re in the wrong profession”

“Listen to my plan boss !! .. “
When trying to get us to pay for the entire electricity when he doesn’t do
his laundry at home …

“Too much work man … damn ! … too much work”
When he sleeps for more than 8 hours a day …

When gatorade’s start disappearing:
“I didn’t drink anyone’s gatorade boss !! … “

“He’s not a slave of reason … “
One of those talks when Bharath immediately says: “Why the hell are you confusing me dude ? “

Drunk Gorhe:
“Bhailog, mujhe aaj tumlog kuch bhi poocho ! … “
“Bhailog, let’s evaluate everyone, let’s start with mone !! .. “

The plans:
“I think I’ll just freaking graduate … “

“Mein trash phekta hoon yaar … just let me finish eating this one time … ”
On the 20th day since the trash-throwing-day:

“Sorrryy maeeeeeeeiiiiiiii”
To the Thai Kitchen aunty …

“Click Click Click Click Click Click Click Click Click … “
Every moment when he’s reading on the laptop …

Countless memories, forever etched, not enough words … we all miss you Gorhe.

Great expectations …

Disclaimer: All the views expressed here are possibly under the effect of strong influencing substances like anger or frustration. The writer/blogger is not responsible for any consequences of the same, if you take them to heart or try them at home.

The trip back home is something every non-resident Indian (somehow getting used to that term) looks forward to with a great deal of enthusiasm and expectation. You think about all the memories that could be relived, meeting all the “how-can-I-live-without-you” friends, and of course, meeting family; for the micro-managers, in no specific order of importance. The last month before arriving is spent in all the dreams, and is like an an oasis in the daily routine! However, apart from a lucky few, who either have tons of cousins living nearby, or more than one significant-others in the country, everybody else experiences an exponential decay in the levels of enthusiasms that one might posses when you reached here.

Now, you cannot really blame anyone here. Everybody is busy. Friends, family … everybody. And if you’re the types who talks to your family at least once a day on the phone anyways, the quality time you spend with them when you’re back is more often than not, related to good food. Also, it doesn’t help when you have absolutely no work to do. Subsequently, friends are the people you turn to. Poor souls indeed. Now, the NRI would be all: hey, lets go out or hey, ditch office and lets go out someplace or hey, what the hell is the matter with you ! … the company is not going to collapse without four hours of you and so on. And the poor friend would be pressed under the incredible devotion one displays towards ones work nowadays, and what’s the big deal! … the NRI is going to come back in the next holidays anyways.

The whole thing obviously leads to 3 weekends of jam-packed activity for the NRI, moving from one friend to another, to one suburb to another, even one district to another (if you’re the sensible ones who don’t consider Thane as a part of Mumbai). These are interesting days, when everybody rests and the NRI gets to work with the family that wants you for the 3 meals and your friends who eventually find the time. You wish why isn’t every day like this!

Now, don’t get me wrong, am not blaming the friends (mine or anyone else’s for that matter). Its just that, 4 days of doing not-much, sitting at home, watching India on the verge of losing a test match and most of all, realizing that the most fun I had was for the five hours yesterday talking to my friends back in Austin has led me to write this piece. Personally, I don’t think my situation is going to improve a lot. I’m off to my native place in a day or so. Meeting relatives is a cool thing, probably for a day or two. Then the familiar feeling of the deja vu of answers sinks in. I would prefer these QA sessions to be like Prof. Yale Patt’s question sessions, come in a group since you anyways have the same kind of questions!

So basically, I can envision the rest of my days, lazing around, probably meeting a few friends here and there, mostly with my friends back in the US, watching cricket, calling up friends to meet and getting disappointed time and again, and of course, reading books, which is a good occupation considering the zilch time being devoted to it back in the US. Wonder what our friends here think, I hope they express them in their blogs !!

Caught sleeping in class?

Unfortunately, my final presentation as an intern (by mine I mean, the one I delivered) reminds me of the times I’ve slept during presentations. Now wait, its not that I felt bad for my audience today, rather I feel, sleeping during a talk is one of the most blissful things one can experience. I’ve had the experience countless number of times, and feel obliged to return the favor to the society; one of the reasons I became a teacher. Of course, once I was convinced that I had affected the lives of a few students by giving them what I had intended, I gladly left the job.

Anyways, today I feel like writing about a time, a very rare time, when I was actually caught sleeping in a class. Since I feel it is a bit derogatory to name the class and the professor, lets give them hypothetical names.
Professor: Prof. Yamraj. Class: Taking souls of innocent students for dummies.

Now this was a time when I was getting used to a new atmosphere, so whenever I used to give myself some time to have a nap, I used to console myself by saying: “Don’t worry man, you’re getting used to it. Once you get into the hardships, either you’ll be awake or you won’t feel bad anymore”.

One fine (bloody-hot-afternoon) day, Prof. Yamraj walked in with enthusiasm oozing all over. He enters the class with a terrific smile (or a snide laughter, whatever), runs to the podium, 5 of us already in deep slumber. Now hey, I am one of those guys who give a chance to the speaker to prove that he’s good enough, …… for me not to sleep till 15 minutes. Anyways, Yammu (now I’d rather give him an pet name, the full name is beginning to get creepy) turned out to be one of majority and I was dreaming about Alice in my wonderland in about 15 seconds.

I’ve always believed that my subconscious has been strong enough and of all the important things it has done for me, the most important was the one that enabled me to wake up at the slightest alarm of danger. I’m sure all of us relate to experiencing things around you even during a dream. For example, when the alarm is off, in your dream someone’s on the phone. Similarly, the speaker’s continuous ramblings used to foster my dreams and when they used to stop, I could sense danger. However, this time, things were a bit different. The phone call went off a bit late inside my head.

You can’t really blame me you see, me and Alice were really having a good time and the hot atmosphere made it all the more endearing. However, good dreams don’t really last long in my case, and when this one seemed to, I got the feeling, boss … something’s wrong.

For all those who’ve experienced, being the center of attraction when you don’t want to be is the worst feeling on the earth. I raised my eyelids slowly yet steadily, so as to not give the impression that I am shocked or rising from a snooze. For a moment, I wished I had not got the anti-glare glasses for my specs, but I guess this was not going to be my day. Again, I wished that somehow the prof would understand the whole scenario, and let me go or something. However, that was also not to be.

I somehow felt a bit obligated to stand up and apologize, but I wasn’t the great man then that I am today. So I decided not to be stupid, shut up, and act as if nothing happened. Here’s the dialogue that followed:

Me: (to myself) why the hell is everyone staring at me man ?
Students: (to themselves) Hehehe, you’re screwed man !!

Prof: Hello mister, what do you think you are doing?
Me (trying hard not to yawn): Attending to your lecture sir (why would you think otherwise??)

Prof: Is this what you call attending haan? Can you tell me what I was teaching right now?
Me: Sure sir, blah blah bleh bleh … isn’t blah equal to bloh, and according to patent no. blih, blah is congruent to blihbleh. (hoping that this was the correct lecture)

Prof: (seemingly confused to how he managed to get that idea through) Huh? Hmmm… Huh?
Me: (sporting a confident, yet my typical ‘suave’ look)

Prof: What is your name? What is your roll number? Where is the attendance sheet? Get out of my class, I’ll look at your grades, and some more threats.
Me: (Whoa !!! high alert, attendance sheet issue being raised, try something quick)

Unfortunately, in tight situations, I mutter some high grade utter nonsense.

Me: Sir, what happened? I think you misunderstood me. I was closing my eyes when you were turning to rub something off the board. (Oh My God !!!!!). I wasn’t sleeping sir.

I think the professor was very sensible and sensitive enough not to utter a single word after that, he gently picked up the attendance sheet, crossed off my name, looked at me and signaled me to get out. However, I wasn’t really in a mood to get out, Alice was probably still waiting, so I eventually convinced the professor that I would like staying inside, and this way he would use the precious time to teach others of the virtue, we all call,
: mein aaj lecture me kya tun ho gaya yaar !!!

Back to Square One

One year down the line, life seems to have come a full circle. I seem as lost as I was on the first day I came here, and the only comfort I can think about is the friends around me. Only this time, I’m sure it’ll turn out to be alright because I know them all the more better.

As usual, I delete my previous blogs, and begin a new series of them. I guess these will be about the people around me, and my chronciles of stupidity.

Today am reminded of the memories from the last one year, the moments of glory (or the lack of it), the moments when you feel so helpless, yet turn to your friends, and are reassured that they’re equally so (or you would like to think so).